A question that comes up often with individuals contemplating a divorce is the impact of an affair. For married couples without children the simple answer is that it doesn't matter, unless of course you are the spurned spouse. But in terms of property division, one party's misbehavior does not entitle them to fewer assets or greater debts. In rare occasions you may find a situation where perhaps marital assets were spent on a boyfriend or girlfriend, and that can get a bit more complicated.
The question I hear more often is what impact an affair has on determining child custody. This issue was before the Iowa Court of Appeals today's In the Marriage of Smith case. The Iowa Court of Appeals phrases affairs as "moral misconduct", and has determined that while such conduct is a consideration in custody decisions, the most weight is given to misconduct occurring in the presence of children. Numerous allegations were made in the Smith divorce about acts of infidelity, but ultimately the Court only looked at situations involving the children, in this case the cohabitation of both the parents with new paramours while they were separated.
As a wronged spouse you might be looking for an opportunity to get answers and get a little burn on the one who wronged you. But this case should also serve as an important reminder to divorcing parties while you may be desperate to get your pound of flesh, unless the children have been put in the middle of things the Judge deciding your custody case is not very concerned with the gory details of your partner's affairs. Fighting a case on that issue alone does not serve you in the long run and only racks up unnecessary legal fees. It also fails to focus on the most important issue which is figuring out the best resolution for your children.
